Tuesday, 1 April 2014

An Award Winning Actor's CV - Wonderful Me

Twelve Step Writing exercise - Day 4: Write a letter to an agent telling her how wonderful you are.”

So obviously, I thought long and hard about how to approach this step. It's a very stupid exercise if I'm being brutally honest. If you have an agent, they already have an idea of your skillset and will be working toward selling you. You only need convince them with your work.

If you don't have an agent - and I don't – then sending a letter telling her ( why her by the way, are all literary agents women ? That's a little bit presumptuous ) how wonderful you are probably won't do much to sell you. It MIGHT make you seem something of an obnoxious blowhard and unless you're going for the Salman Rushdie audience, that's not something you really want to project.

I think the object of the exercise is to give you a false confidence, to let you take stock of your own skillset, to allow to explore and even exploit it. But to what end? I don't know, if I'm trying to start a play or even just blocked, stopping to write about how wonderful I am isn't going to cut it. It will fell like a lie. I will start getting angry, obnoxious and silly.

But I've decided to embrace this exercise all the same, for all it's cheesy, contrived silliness it seems like fun. Rather than writing a pleading, self-stroking letter that might come across as over-egged masturbation, I've decided that the best way to prove to an agent just how wonderful I really am, is to let my own work speak for itself. I've decided to present my Actor's CV! That agent had better duck, because brilliance is shooting off in her direction!

Number four “Do” for writing a blog : Include images.
While readers come to your blog for information and personality, they also need to be stimulated visually. Not all posts will lend themselves to an image, but when they do, take advantage of it.”


An Award Winning Actor's CV ( excerpt )

Award Winning Dominic – The Man / The Award Winning Actor

Height - nearly six foot

Weight - 13 Stone but can go heavier if required

Age - 39 years young

Hair - long, fair to middling

Eyes - brown, but can wear contact lenses to look like a cat or whatever

Skills - Award Winning Dominic has a range of acting skills, including line-learning. 

Has a particular strength for accents, and acting with them. Although Award Winning Dominic is comfortable with every genre, for example rape drama, he loathes musicals and anyone who likes them, and is particularly comfortable with comedy, and rape drama.

Style - Naturalism is the key. Award Winning Dominic works hard to maintain a realism, a pathos and salty anger in each of his performances, whether as a blowhard Knight or naughty schoolboy looking for the best Christmas tree ever, or a raped prisoner in a borstel for young offenders.

Philosophy - there is no such thing as a small role. Acting is about the joy of creation, not awards.

Awards - Won best supporting actor in 2005, nominated twice for same in 2010 and 2011.


“Look, just because I've won an award, been nominated twice, commanded a standing ovation, and earned the most amount of money for one drama group since it's inception, doesn't mean I know enough about acting to advise. Obviously I do, because of the above achievements. The biggest thing I'd say is, you can't let something like awards or monumental amounts of praise about your acting and writing skills, or the sideways glance that blonde gives you in the lobby of the Mermaid “arts” Centre after An Trial that one time give you a big head”



The hugely anticipated sequel to Papa Bear Baby Bear; Award winning Dominic takes on writing, directing, and performance duties to once again expertly essay the physically threatening and verbally violent Scottish security guard Paul Brady in a play that hugely manipulates Award winning Dominic's mother's Cancer diagnosis in late 2013 to create a hugely successful black comedy about a birthday party. Audience members are heard to report : "he's put on weight since the last one, hasn't he?" Accents - Scottish. Direction - Award winning Dominic and Kris with a K McGuire.


Award winning Dominic is conned into taking part in this failed outdoor version of Shakespeare's least interesting play under the illusion that he is going to be paid. Though Award winning Dominic is above petty name-calling, he is NOT above taking on small parts that open and close a play, to give the performance a much needed kick in the teeth of energy and save an otherwise moribund show from sinking into various muddied grounds. Audience reactions to his committed performance sadly lacking in fervour. Most audiences at this show clearly muddled in the heads. Accents - English. Directed by - someone who still owes Award winning Dominic €300; yet has somehow managed to see fit to pay certain members of his cast for their panto-esque performances. Award winning Dominic is not bitter. He won an award once, and that is it's own reward.


Black comedy in which Award winning Dominic plays dark-edged and angry security guard Paul "Papa Bear" Brady opposite Kris with a K McGuire's naive Barry "Baby Bear" Bracken. Written and produced by Award winning Dominic, this is a tour de force of a performance, brutal, physical, and filled with menace. If there had been justice in the world, Award winning Dominic would have won an award for his committed portrayal of the deeply obnoxious, self-obsessed, racist, sexist, and angry Papa Bear. Especially as this character is so far away from Award winning Dominic's real personality. Accents - Scottish. Directed by - a turd in a dress.



Revue show performed in Martello function room. Award winning Dominic performs, writes, produces and acts as artistic director on full length sketch show, expertly marshalling a cast of nine – collectively known as Grainne's Warriors – to raise funds and awareness for Award Winning Dominic's abilities as an award winning actor/writer/director. Accents – English and Neutral. Artistic Direction – award winning Dominic, with several individual sketches directed by Award Nominated Derek Palmer and Don Bagley.


Prevue show performed for Summerfest Bray, a micro-version of Across the Boards. Award winning Dominic produces, and acts as artistic director, writer, editor and performer of the Skeleton Show, The Brother's Palmer. Accents – English and Neutral. Artistic direction – award winning Dominic, with individual skits directed by Award Nominated Derek Palmer and Don Bagley.


With original songs and story by one-time award-winning Keith Hennigan. Award Winning Dominic performs, writes, and directs this extraordinary one-act musical based around the journey of a young bar-girl masquerading as a male, and an arrogant misogynistic wizard. A journey into the liver of darkness, this satirical, hilarious comedy is lauded by laughter throughout it's two-night run, mostly while Award Winning Dominic is onstage performing his self-penned and self-directed lines.

Award Winning Dominic takes on the double task of acting and writing with considerable aplomb. It's no big deal, it's what he does. Produced and performed through Delgany Drama Group, who excitedly remark afterwards, “it was a very ambitious failure wasn't it?” Accents – Scottish and English. Directed by Award Winning Dominic.


Performed through Square One “drama” group in the Mermaid “Arts” Centre, Bray, as part of the annual Bray One Act Festival, Award Winning Dominic is nominated for best supporting actor for his scintilating - filled with “simmering hatred” - turn as the tragic main character Laertes. With a considerably – some have commented since seeing his performance, stupidly - cut down role, he still manages to make an indelible mark on the stage, in a show filled to the brim with other actors. Accents – English. Directed by some fat lad with a beard who spent more time working on the performance of Hamlet, then working with Award Winning Dominic. And it was Award Winning Dominic who was nominated, NOT Hamlet!



Performed as part of a “friends” night for Square One “drama” Group in Colaiste Raheen National School. Award Winning Dominic will go on to be nominated for best supporting actor in the Bray One Act Festival – as above.


Square One “drama” Group's tiresome and overlong retread of Oscar Wilde's blandest and most wearisome play is given welcome lift and vitality by the Award Winning Dominic – surrounded by a cast of other actors in roles in the play. Despite his clearly being far too young for the role of Lord Illingworth, he is roundly described as being “not bad, if a bit too overboard with arm gestures”. Accents – Oscar Wilde.


Award Winning Dominic performs, writes, and directs this feature length original tale based on It's A Wonderful Life, Midsummer's Night Dream, Wings of Desire, and MacBeth. Starring as Tim, whose name is in fact part of the title, Award Winning Dominic brings his trademark pathos and salty, full-blooded anger to the tale of a man discovering only after death, through the skit-based interpretation of his life by a group of Limbo-based performers ( The Limboteers ), how to live. Heart-warming and biting in equal measure, Award Winning Dominic's fresh, raw, and sometimes loud performance is matched by his adept and satirical, hilarious and poignant writing. Achieved a standing ovation on it's closing night, most likely due to Award Winning Dominic's participation as a writer, director and performer. Accent – neutral. Directed, written, and performed by Award Winning Dominic.


Award Winning Dominic workshops the cast of Slice of Life to create an improvised “trailer” to his forthcoming show. In it, he portrays a hugely characatured version of “himself”, generously portraying himself as an egotistical, self-obsessed, angry, narcissistic director/writer/award winning acotr, clearly a satirical fabrication of Award Winning Dominic. The trailer, performed in Colaiste Raheen Bray as part of their “friends” night, creates a genuine buzz for Slice of Life and for a short time coins the phrase “don't look at (Award Winning) Dominic's hair.”


Approached personally by director Conor O'Malley to perform in his near three hour epic of Brecht's hideously dreadful “The Life of Galileo” for his company The Lyric Players, Award Winning Dominic essays the essential roles of “thin monk” in the first act, and “desk clerk” at the very end of the play. “Desk clerk” in particular shows once again Award Winning Dominic's comic timing and ability to turn his underwritten cameo role into a rounded, realistic, memorable and above all fullblooded and saltilly angry creation of pathos, this time with a pencil. Award Winning Dominic also provides – along with some other okay actors I suppose – offstage footsteps for a scene somewhere in the middle. All agree that it was Award Winning Dominic's footsteps and murmer of “hubub” that most people found unforgettable during this otherwise tedious scene. Accent – neutral.


Performed through Delgany Drama Group, in the Mermaid “Arts” Centre as part of the Bray One Act festival, Award Winning Dominic is nominated for best supporting actor award for his role as Eric, a lecherous actor too busy letching on one of his co-stars to notice the farcical chaos of an aftershow run amok around him. Award Winning Dominic garners a rave review for his Roger Moore-esque performance from the adjudicator with the stutter – despite his being too young for the role. Accent – Roger Moore.



Performed through Delgany Drama Group in Delgany National School, for an audience of other people who laugh uproariously throughout, whenever Award Winning Dominic's portrayal of Eric the actor is onstage. All agree he's just not onstage enough, which perhaps the director should have listened to in anticipation of the next performance. Not complaining but when your public love you THIS much it pays to listen to them. In money. It's done now but – Award Winning Dominic should have been listened to. As should his adoring audience have been. Award Winning Dominic will go on to be nominated for best supporting actor in the Bray One Act festival, despite being under-directed. Accent – as above.



Performing through Delgany Drama group in Delgany National School, Award Winning Dominic portrays a young actor on the edge of love while rehearsing for a play, and his character, Sir Victor Pureheart, within the play within the play within. Smoothly, expertly, and hilariously seguing between the dumb and lustful Scottish actor, and the debonaire, heroic, and thoroughly English Pureheart, Award Winning Dominic proves once again to his loyal followers what a versatile actor he is. Accents – English and Scottish. Would no doubt have been nominated for a best supporting actor had Curses... gone on to the Bray One Act Festival in Bray. We'll assume.


In tandem with performing in Curses, multi-talented, Award Winning Dominic co-writes, co-directs, and co-performs in a sketch show that accompanies Foiled Again... - as it's FOIL, one might say, although some might argue that with more control Award Winning Dominic produced the greater work of the two that night, something perhaps that should have been noted by the director of Curses Foiled Again. People remark afterwards, “it was a bit like Monty Python, wasn't it?” which obviously it wasn't, so you can see what Award Winning Dominic has had to put up with, yet manages to circumnavigate to continually create the gold he has created. Accent – neutral. Directed by Award Winning Dominic and his brother, award nominated Derek Palmer.


Performed for Square One “drama” Group, in the Mermaid “arts” Centre as part of the Bray One Act festival, Heaven's Above is some of the worst writing Award Winning Dominic has ever come across. Written by the director's brother ( total nepotism, and something Award Winning Dominic has gone to great pains to avoid in his lifetime, working mainly off his own back and reaping extraordinary rewards as a result of which he has ), essaying the role of an alchoholic ex-actor who is somewhat unrealistically visited from beyond the grave by his ex-acting and sparring partner, Paley – played by some fat guy with a beard using what could barely be described as passing for an English accent, certainly in comparison to Award Winning Dominic's mastery of the accent – Award Winning Dominic finds depth, humanity, pathos and a full-blooded, salty anger in the awkwardly written addict role, creating a winning double act with the fat gruff bearded actor, despite Award Winning Dominic being too young for the role. An usher is heard whispering, “you guys should have won” after Award Winning Dominic is left completely and unfairly bereft of awards by a recently exhumed corpse. Accent – neutral.



“Experimental” version of mildly controversial, otherwise hilariously terrible and naive play, performed in the Mermaid “arts” Centre for Square One “drama” Group, Award Winning Dominic essays the role of a free-wheeling womaniser accused – ludicrously, as part of Society as a whole – with aiding his sister's suicide, even though he clearly wasn't anywhere near her at the time. If people are looking for someone to blame, maybe they should blame the person who committed suicide instead of the usually hapless people surrounding them who, rightly or wrongly, are often caught up in the travails of their own petty existence to recognise how much someone else is suffering. In particular how can you even blame a person who hasn't SEEN the victim for years, as Award Winning Dominic's character hadn't. Is it fair to place him on trial? Obviously not. A rare, dramatic role, Award Winning Dominic relishes the opportunity to method act, becoming this character, and create pathos and a full-blooded salty anger for his otherwise unfairly judged character, so much so that he is able to improv lines and improve the writing live onstage. Other actors simply cannot keep up with his fresh performance style! Award Winning Dominic also provides sound design and music for the “ghostly chorus” scenes. Accent – Irish.



Tired of listening to the various uppity nonsense of other, snobbish drama groups, or taking part in poorly constructed oirish plays and badly staged “classics”, Award Winning Dominic constructs a sketch show with a difference. Writing and co-directing this revue, Award Winning Dominic creates a throughline story, entirely improvised live by himself and future Warrior Grainne, performing as bickering stage-hands whose escalating argument in between sketches provides a fresh and original twist on the sketch show format. Four Plus Two is initally greeted with terrible skepticism by idiots in amature drama circles who think they know better than Award Winning Dominic because they put on shows by Dylan Thomas, but like the under-privilaged ethnic children in Sister Act 2, this independently produced, original show attracts great buzz and becomes a true smash. Accents – English and Neutral. Directed by Award Winning Dominic and award nominated Derek Palmer.


Performed in the Mermaid "arts" Centre through Square One "drama" group, this bizarre and ultimately pointless cornucopia of crass sexual innuendo and poorly adapted poetry by drunkard Dylan Thomas is given overtly literal and smutty direction by Square One. Enlivened by a sexually charged performance from Award Winning Dominic as the Inn-keep, Sinbad Sailor, who improvs much of his on-stage movement to terrific effect, and even re-directs the play live - memorably during the now legendary little boy running from the bar with the bottle of beer moment. Accents - Welsh. Technically.



Performed in the Mermaid “arts” Centre, this is Award Winning Dominic's first show with Square One “drama” Group, making his debut in the Bray One Act Festival at the same time. Essaying the role of Finbar, a highly wound “homosexual” fellow in a hilariously awful sex-farce that, like every single sex-farce that attracts amature drama groups across the country, trivialises infidelity for cheap laughs, yet judges the minorty characters for being different. Award Winning Dominic plays a character so completely against type it's actually hilarious to even THINK of him playing Gay, considering how completely opposite to Gay Award Winning Dominic is. Award Winning Dominic – who is not Gay - is correctly and platonically complimented for the control he has of his body onstage. Award Winning Dominic is awarded Best Supporting Actor for his portrayal. Ever modest, Award Winning Dominic very rarely mentions this and will be hard pushed to discuss it when probed. Accents – Homosexual.



Performed in Colaiste Raheen, for Square One “drama” Group's “friends” night. Award Winning Dominic will go on to win Best Supporting Actor in the Bray One Act Festival.


Award Winning Dominic makes his stage debut aged twenty in The Celtic Story, playing several characters, most notably – despite being too young – founding manager of Celtic, Willy Maley. As part of The Rotunda Drama Group, Award Winning Dominic will co-write, co-direct and perform in several shows, culminating in his original pantomime, A Christmas Tale.

Fourth step in twelve step addiction program : Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”

Dear Mr God sir, can you help me : I'm just too perfect. Send help. Yours faithfully.


Tomorrow : "Day 5 - Write a 20-line poem about a memorable moment in your life."

Fucking hate poetry. Good luck tomorrow!

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