Sunday, 13 April 2014

There's a new guy in town - Blog-Tart - The Trailer!

It was a time of great uncertainty. A time of black despair. Not depair because of black. That would be racist. Just despair of the blackest kind. Not black as in – the point is, there was despair and it required a downbeat prefix to make it seem even more despairier!

Into this darkness came the light. Not to be confused with the white. That too, would be racist.

He was a simple man. An everyman, like Tom Hanks or Tom Cruise. Not special in any way. Like Colin Farrell. Someone who represented you, the audience, like Michael Fassbender. Someone completely ordinary with whom you could identify. Like Scarlett Johnanssens lips and breasts and film choices.

Yet he would come to realise all by himself without a prophecy to guide him or nothing, that he was the chosen one, he who would bring balance back to the world by blogging about things that interested only him. And then posting them on Facebook, because he has no followers. Or friends.

And he was desperate for attention.

Having turned his beady double-third-eye of satire on a set of meaningless writing exercises, he was ready for a new challenge. Something banal that he could focus far too much energy on, and then trick people into reading because they had unrealistic expectations of his articles based on two particularly good and focussed pieces that acted as a two-in-twelve statistic of quality.

So he had done the writing exercises.

He had done the day of reckoning.

He had done the arts.

What next for this scion of society?

Well, you tell me!!!!!

I have a few ideas for articles and bits of research I want to do, just for the sake of it.

I'm starting off by watching all the sequels I have in my collection, and I'm going to explain the rules of this in the first article, starting next week, but basically what I want to do is review them and talk about canon, sequels, prequels and all things attached, from my own perspective.

I was sent an interesting little article about robots, which intrigued me enough to do an ickle bit of research on that subject, so I'm going to look into that, too.

I'm also starting my new play soon, which I will chart in painstaking, misery-developing detail as I tear my hair out trying to combat plotting difficulties, character enui, and a general feeling that no one else will ever want to see this shit.

I am ALSO thinking of doing a couple of vids to attach to these blogs, in relation to various articles. Mostly film review type dealios.

So that's all ahead of me. What I'd also like from anyone reading this, is a few things that might interest them from my perspective.

Anything you'd like to discuss with me, debate with me, throw at me, and more, then please do. I get off on inflicting misery, and having people inflict it upon me. I think they call it sado-masochism. Or Ireland syndrome.

I'll be starting my sequal articles by watching the House movies, a set of low-budget comedy horrors that started in the eighties and actually managed to make it into the nineties without anyone ever having seen them!

My parents are staying with me for the next two weeks so these articles will be done in between – and to stave off – the madness! I might even make them watch these movies for their elderly take on things I KNOW they'll hate!

See you real soon!


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